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Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI?!
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
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Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
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I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Throughout American history, the government has said we\'re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It\'s a hoax.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
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Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that\'s ok because you\'ll be a mile away from him and you\'ll have his shoes.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
Jenny anderson in jurassic cock
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/29/(Sun) 00:28
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